We love people and know what’s best for them; we know what they need and know we can help them. We can supply all the answers to all their problems. “You should do this… in my experience it is best if you do this, this and this…” It’s easy for us because we’ve been studying it for such a long time, it’s our passion, and besides it’s always easier for an independent set of eyes to look into another person’s life and give a new perspective.
As a caring human being we offer our advice freely and help whoever needs it without discrimination, never holding back, giving everything we have because we truly believe what we have can benefit them. The only problem is these people don’t see what we had to go through to acquire our hard won wisdom and will rarely take us up on our advice, they’ll carry on doing the things they’ve always done that we’re warning them against.
Trying to educate people that didn’t ask for our advice is draining, will take your energy and ware you down. Doctors don’t become emotionally involved with all their patients, it’s not because they don’t care, it’s because they would burnout very quickly and go insane if they did.
You are not responsible for the well-being of the people that you meet, even if you know how to help them. They are adults that have travelled their own path, taken care of themselves and gotten this far in life without you, they know more about what they want and need than you ever will. If and when they need you they will ask.
Don’t waste time, life and energy beating your brains against the wall trying to help people that don’t want to be helped and didn’t ask and don’t want to be helped. If they didn’t seek you out in the first place and you are trying to help them, they will drain you emotionally because they won’t implement what you say. It’s not your job to save them; you unconsciously assign yourself to their care without their consent. You are pushing your information on them; they don’t have ears to hear. They may love what you are saying, but they are not ready to act on the information to change. They didn’t seek you out, you found someone willing to listen to you speak passionately about what you know. I know it hurts you because you can bring tremendous value to their lives because of what you’ve been through to gain the knowledge and experience you have, but you have to let them go and be themselves.
If you’re really passionate about a subject and really want to help people, then the people that want you to help them are out in the world actively seeking you out. There are people facing difficulties looking for someone to help them solve their problems right now. They have an issue with something they have been dealing with for a long time and now the time has come to do something about it. As far as they are concerned, the stakes have changed, they are extremely motivated to solve their problem, they want their situation to change, your job is to throw out your lifeline and pull them in. If you want to help people give them a way to find you and get in touch with you, so you can make them an offer through a product or service to help them get an outcome they are looking for.
If someone pays you five thousand pounds/dollars for advice, believe me you’ll get their full attention because they are serious about change. If you really want another person’s undivided attention on what you have to help them get the transformation they are desperate for, help them find you and invest in you. You don’t have the emotionally energy to help everyone so you might as well help those who want to be helped.
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